The holidays are here. Our 6th anniversary was Monday November 25th. Then it was Thanksgiving. Now it's Christmas...Brian's favorite. I never believed that our last anniversary and last Thanksgiving and last Christmas would actually be our very LAST of those. It's so very hard to wrap my head around. We will NEVER have any more memories. I'm trying to honor his memory and his wishes by celebrating those events. I cooked some stuff for Thanksgiving but I'll never have it at our house again. I put up a Christmas tree but I didn't decorate the house. I will eventually go through all the Christmas decorations and only keep the special ones. I'm not finding any joy in this festive season...I'm just trying to survive it.
I have a journal that I write to Brian in. Like letters...maybe he's just far away on a trip somewhere. I tell him all the important things going on. It helps me.
I found a little memory frame and cut out his picture from when he performed at the Christmas parade. He wore a Santa hat and a jingle bell necklace everywhere we went during Christmas. And, of course I had to put garland around his urn. There is still garland in the kitchen and snowflakes hanging from the dining room ceiling that he put up last year. Can't bear to take them down.
